It was a while ago that I sank to rock bottom. Everything I had a hand in was a mess, my marriage, my business, and my children’s lives. For years my husband had been blaming his drinking on something I said or did, and I had absorbed all that into my identity as I scrambled to fix what I had done or said wrong.
I was at a point where I could not fix anything, and everything seemed to be crumbling around me. Since I was worthless as a wife, business owner, and mother, why keep living? I had resolved to kill myself, and was in the process of determining how I would do so.
One morning, my last morning I was hoping, I was in the laundry room putting wash into the dryer. As I was doing so, I was deep in thought, mulling over my choices, when a thought broke through my concentration, “What will happen to your three young boys?”
Well that stopped me in my tracks. Where did that thought come from? Even as I wondered, I knew without a doubt it was from somewhere outside myself. In micro seconds many thoughts ran through my mind, but the end of it was this question, “Could that have been God?”
I screamed into the silence, “If you are real God, I need you. I don’t know how to live one more day!” I collapsed in tears. And then, I felt a warmth lift me to my feet, and I knew, really knew, God was not only real, but He had heard me.
And help me He did. It would be too long of a story to tell you all the amazing people He put in my life, who guided me in my infant faith, but there were many. I am eternally grateful for each and everyone of them.
Fast forward to today, I am now leading a woman’s Bible study helping others in their faith walk, and I blog. I have two blog sites, this one, and MoriahsMusings.com. Here at After Emmanuel I write about Christ seeking, following, and living. Jesus came, taught, died, and rose again all to give us an opportunity to know God and God’s will. I am continually studying the Bible, and seeking the Holy Spirit to open my mind and heart to understanding more and more about how I, as a Christian, can best live my life to reflect that.
This is the journey you will read about if you follow my blogs. It is a journey that I hope you will interact with, sharing your own spiritual growth as God leads you. In sharing we can all grow more in our own faith.
Therefore, welcome, my new friend. I look forward to growing with you and along side you.